When Your Wife Asks You to Go to Therapy, Here’s Why it DOES Help Fix the Relationship
If you were to ask the average man on the street whether therapy is helpful, he’d likely agree that it can be beneficial—for other people. But getting him to admit that therapy might be helpful for him? Well, that’s a whole different story. In 2023, about 17% of men in the United States received mental health treatment or counseling. While that’s an increase from the last decade, it still leaves a whopping 83% of men who likely have been asked at least once, “Have you ever thought about therapy?” by a concerned loved one (read: their wife).
There are many reasons why people, particularly men, don’t seek therapy. Sometimes it’s about access or affordability. Other times, it’s stigma or simply not knowing where to start.
The most common barriers include:
They don’t have time. (Or at least, that’s what they say while scrolling through YouTube at midnight.)
They’re skeptical that therapy helps. Sure, sharing your feelings sounds great in theory, but will it actually fix anything?
They don’t know how to start. Finding a therapist feels like a daunting task—as intimidating as shopping for a car, but with fewer commercials to guide you.
It’s hard to find the right professional. The search for the “perfect match” in therapy can feel like online dating—swipe left, swipe right, repeat.
But here’s the twist: a significant number of men walk into therapy for one reason—their wife asked (or, let’s be honest, demanded) them to go. As a counselor, I’ve lost count of how many men have entered my office with an ultimatum: “Fix this, or else.”
While this might seem like a reluctant start, here’s the beauty of it: therapy works even if you start with doubt. Sure, your wife may have nudged (or shoved) you through the door, but once inside, the benefits become apparent. Therapy offers a space to address not only relationship challenges but also personal growth, communication issues, and unmet needs. And—spoiler alert—when men start seeing the positive effects, they often stay.
So, if your wife has asked you to try therapy, take it as a sign that she believes your relationship is worth the effort. It’s not a punishment; it’s an opportunity. Besides, worst-case scenario, you’ll leave with a few new tools to navigate life. Best-case scenario? You’ll come out stronger—as a partner, a man, and maybe even a believer in therapy. And that’s not such a bad thing, is it?
